Friday, March 22, 2013

Losing my marbles...

At the age of 96, mother has moved on to a care center. Yes, I know it’s a nursing home but I refuse to refer to it as such. She has lots of adjustments to make but, somehow, I never considered how much it would affect everyone else.   So….I won’t be posting much in the upcoming weeks…maybe a photo here and there with a short description but, right now, I think my brain in just about fried and I can think of nothing else but getting done what needs to be done in order to make this transition as easy as possible.
A bag of marbles found tucked in a dresser drawer at my mom's house.  I suspect my aunt entertained
my son some 30 years ago with these.  I will keep them for him...they will touch his heart
and bring back good memories.
Looking over the last two weeks…
  • I have filled out financial forms about six times, repeating the same information over and over.
  • I have been up until 2 AM printing out 5 years worth of bank statements for review by Medicaid.
  • I have preplanned a funeral, not because I wanted to but because Medicaid required it.
  • I have met with a hospital social worker.
  • I have met with the administrators of the care center (who are angels in disguise).
  • I have met with the financial department of the care center (and I am still in shock).
  • I have spoken to more speech therapists, physical therapists, aids, nurses, doctors, visiting nurses then I have family members.
  • I have packed what seems to feel like several tons of clothes for recycle, yard sales, and washing and I'm still not done.
  • I have visited the care center almost everyday, hoping and praying this transition will go smoothly (and then the staff told me to cut back).
  • I have forwarded all the mail.
  • I have met with a realtor and signed a ton of paperwork.
  • I have met with the attorney.
  • I have called the oil company.
  • I have stopped the milk delivery.  And of all the things I have done, this was by far the hardest and the only one I cried over.
Yes, I am losing my marbles.
My blog posts have never been as frequent as I would have liked.  Life has too often gotten in the way.  Going forward, after all the dust has settled and all the paperwork has been sorted and filed, I will hopefully resurrect the creative gene, however creative that might be.  In the meantime, I'll be watching all the wonderful blogs I follow and trying to post a photo here and there and hope my followers hang in with me.  After all, this blog thing has been keeping me sane and going for some time now.
Hugs!  Peace!


  1. Lots of details. I've just been through our Australian version, spending time looking for a suitable place then with my father in law going into care Christmas Eve and then my mother in law just three weeks ago. Then my father in law died two weeks ago and we've had the funeral too. Yet to finalise many many transitions. Take time when you can to look after your own health for so many depend on you too.

  2. Diana Segars ReynoldsMarch 22, 2013 at 10:35 PM

    Helene, I didn't know you were going through all this. I'm sorry to hear that you have this responsibility. Everything will work out in the end and it takes time. Be careful with your own health, but I feel you are a strong person and you can handle whatever life throws at you. I know it must be hard to have your mom somwhere other than near you. Take care and I hope everything goes well. Diana

  3. Hugs and peace to you. We will be here when you can be here again.

  4. Hopefully the nightmare will be over soon Helene, that's just too much work for one person. Hope your mum is going to be ok, it's a big shock for elderly people to leave their home. Wishing you well.

  5. Hang in there. I'm sure this is one of the most challenging processes any of us could endure. (I'm not looking forward to it, myself.) The marbles are beautiful. I used to have marbles like that when I was a boy. Does anyone play marbles anymore?!

  6. (((hugs)))
    Stay inspired!

  7. I couldn't blog if I were going through all that. Every blogger has to step back from blogging from time to time. Hope the rest of it goes smoothly.

  8. We all have our troubles, don't we? That's one thing I've learned from my blogging community. No one is immune. My heart goes out to you at this time. It's overwhelming sometimes, isn't it? Your mother is lucky to have you. But you already know that, I hope.

  9. "You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation…and that is called loving. Well then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is only your aversion to it that hurts, nothing else." ~Herman Hesse

    Be strong and steadfast in your journey with your Mom, she is deserving of your love,

  10. {{{hugs}}} ALL of what you are doing is wrenching, I'm crying knowing you cried stopping the milk delivery. Some things really say it is final, she's not coming back here anymore. And all of that is hard, so very hard. I pray the Lord will give you courage and strength for the days and tasks ahead... xo dear friend, I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  11. Helene, it seems that all my friends are going through the very same thing right now, dealing with aging parents. It's not an easy thing for sure and my sympathies are with you. Hang in there! P. S. Beautiful photo!

  12. big hugs to you ... and a reminder that i have been there, done that and have broad shoulders and big ears xo

  13. I'm sending a great big "been there" hug. You've done herculean work, none of it easy and much of it possibly unappreciated. You may not see it but there's light at the end of this tunnel - you've tackled the very hardest of it. There are still plenty of details, but you're not far from the dust-settling stage. And as it settles I hope you'll notice that you can occasionally sleep better at night knowing that your mom has someone watching over her and giving her better care than she was probably receiving on her own at home. There aren't many people who manage to stay on their own until 96.

    Hang in there. Post when you can and take good care of yourself.

  14. Hi there! I just clicked on a link from Kate's Chronicles of a Country Girl in an idle five minutes with a cup of tea this morning and felt such a connection reading your post about your mother and then what you said about describing yourself as a photographer. I went through all this stuff with my Grandmother nearly twenty years ago and found it so stressful! It took two months of weekends to clear the house and I still have all the legal paperwork in folders now; I'm terrified if I throw it away, someone will come round accusing me of some kind of financial misdemeanor. I wish I'd had my blog then for the support it now gives me. Lovely to have found you and your photographs are beautiful. Very best wishes and I'll be adding you to my list! Em

  15. I somehow missed this post Helene -- I remember when my dad was moved into is home away from home some 10 years ago and it was quite the ordeal from my mom and us four girls. I can only imagine what it must be for just one person to handle.

    Big hugs -- will keep you in my thoughts. xo

  16. Oh I feel for is a very stressful time when our parents become so sick. My Dad has not had to go into a home since he has hospice coming to him.
    I will hang in there with your blog, whenever you have time!


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