I've never been a great sleeper...at least I can't ever remember getting really great sleep over a long period of time. Sure, there have been those occasional nights when I've drifted off and not gotten up during the night to lay there in the dark with my mind racing. Those sleep-filled nights are a precious few. And as far as those other nights go, they are pretty much the norm any more.
It's 2 AM and then it's 2:45 AM and then it 3:30 AM and, when the numbers on the clock flip over and it's 4 AM and I haven't found that comfortable spot where my mind is free of all worry and concern, I know it's a done deal. It's decision time. Do I lay here listening to the sounds this old house makes? You know those sounds and, in the dark early morning hours, those sounds always sound like something they are not. Do I get up into the chilled air, turning on lights as I make my way through the house? And then what?
I know people who are up at all hours doing wash, cleaning, writing out bills, exercising and then they get their act together and come into work. I've thought about altering my routine...getting to bed before 9 PM so I can get up and get those necessary things done in the wee hours. I'm not sure but that just doesn't seem to appeal to me. Last week, when I found myself up at 4 AM, I went to the computer and caught up on some blogs. That appeals to me.
Maybe I can ease into a new routine. Gradually changing the alarm setting on the clock and adjusting when the furnace goes on and off might encourage this being to alter her inner clock. Until then, when sleep does not come, I'll probably find myself writing blog comments or checking out the latest Tumblr.com entries at 4:30 AM OR just staring up at the cracks in the ceiling pondering that question...to sleep or not to sleep.
Orange Dahlia (I think)
Courtesy of The Master Gardeners
Davidson's Mill Pond Park, South Brunswick, NJ