Monday, November 28, 2011

A Kosher Thanksgiving...

(Click on photos to enlarge)

Well, almost.  It all started in the meat department of the local Shop Rite about a week ago around 7 PM.  I thought, if I go do the holiday shopping on a Sunday night, most people would be home watching football and the trauma of the shopping ordeal would be lessened.  Wrong.

Oh, an empty seat at the big table.
Waiter, sparkling apple cider for everyone!

Having a ball, Emmett's hands
fly over the keys.
For the most part, the aisles were passable....until you got near those free birds.  You know what I'm talking about and it's got nothing to do with Lynyrd Skynyrd's Free Bird.  I think I saw several  older women of the gereatric set heaving those frozen winged creatures like  David heaved that stone that took down Goliath.  I was surprised the stock boys weren't armed with pepper spray.  As fast as they were filling the frozen bins, the birds were either being grabbed up or tossed about as customers sought the biggest and best they could find to grace their Thanksgiving table.

Wait a minute!  Is this the same
stuff everyone else had?
This year I was not going for the whole enchilada but was targeting a turkey breast.  Dinner was going to be small and this would cut back on roasting time and cleanup.  I spotted my  prey and swooped down on the biggest breast I could find in that deep frozen cavern and made my way to checkout .  So there I was, all set to bag (love doing my own bagging) when the teenaged checker asks "Is this the turkey you want?"   "No, of course not, I just put that there to take up space" I'm thinking but respond "Yes it is."  Simple, right?  No.
Lisa supervises a duet by Max and Emmett.

"That'll be $135.82."  I'm thinking, that's a little high.  But wait, "Did you take the (free) turkey off?"  "No, it's not free."  What?  Wait a minute!  I've met my requirements!  I have receipts to prove it!  Your honor, let the record show that I have spent at least $300 in grocery purchases prior to this transaction!  "What do you mean, it's not free?"  "It's Kosher.  Kosher turkeys are not free."  "Well, @&*%!"

Max serenades Nan, his great grandmother.
So, with about 10 people behind me, I have a decision to make.  Do I venture through the 'demiliterized zone' and enter the 'front line' to make an exchange while holding up a line of tired, ready-to-get-angry bird shoppers or pay my bill and calmly walk out of the store while the voice inside my head screams 'How could you be so stupid!  Didn't you read the fine print!'  I pay and walk.

Nate, a domino fan.  In the absence of
dominos, Jenga blocks will do.
Reviewing my receipt, I realize this special turkey breast has cost me $23.  I consult my Jewish friends..."So, what's so special about a Kosher turkey? "  They respond..."You'll see.  You're gonna love it."  They were right.  This was probably the best turkey I've ever had.  It was moist and really flavorful...the kind of turkey you imagine serving but have never come quite close to, the kind that you know tastes  as good as it looks in the Norman Rockwell drawings.
Uncle Ken goofs with Emmett.

I truly hope you had a wonderful, peaceful, and 'flavorful' Thanksgiving holiday.  Tomorrow, Kosher turkey on German pumpernickel for lunch!     And by the way, I went back on Monday night for the free turkey.  Hey, after all, it was FREE!


  1. Oh, so sorry about the coupon mixup -- but I'm glad the kosher turkey breast was a hit. You have a lovely family, Helene. :)

  2. Oh man, when I thought about standing at that grocery till, tired and with tired people all around me - I just felt so bad for you! but all's well that ends well, right? You have an upbeat attitude and looks like you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

  3. Enjoyed your story and much less of a crowd to struggle with Monday no doubt.

  4. Good for you!!!
    What a beautiful family you have!


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